Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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