I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
