I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
