I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
