if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
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