I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
