I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
