you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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