so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
