...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
