Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Randomize
