If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
