WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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