How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
