i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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