i was rollin on her like bob the builder
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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