I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
