I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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