After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
