I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
