Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
