whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
