Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize