wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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