Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
