remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
