Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
