Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
