That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
