i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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