I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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