now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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