he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
