Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
