oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
