I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Randomize
