Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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