His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
