possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
