In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
All I want is dick and wine.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
