We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
After tacos, we're chasing women.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
