I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Randomize
