If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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