idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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