Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
