I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
