Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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