she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
