I CAN MOONWALK!
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
