Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I am available for nakedness
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
