You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i came on her dog
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Randomize
